How can I explain this revelation…**Incoming “red-pilled” misogyny**

As a direct companion/opposition to “Man-Splaining”, to which I have been both perpetrator and victim, in where a man looks down his greasy ass black headed nose and speaks in a child vernacular to a woman about a subject as he surely knows more about any given subject than a woman.

In a recent conversation with my girlfriend (what a good boyfriend I am) I finally realized what the female version of this phenomenom is. I am terming it “girl-asking” in which a woman asks utterly unnecessary, unwelcome, and in-the-way-of-the-conversation questions. Her reasons for doing so are as devious and perhaps unconscious as a mansplaining is for the repeat offender.

She (not my gf, the all encompassing ‘she’ that represents the woman-asker) wants to be part of the story, or part of the ongoing situation, in which she has no real control. But by asking unneeded questions she is presenting herself as part of the story. Often interrupting as she does so. Instead of accepting stated facts she must infer herself and warp the reality to fit her questions. By introducing subjectivity on the situation she is taking power by removing the objectivity. It also spells of distrust. The story teller has to the best of their ability to provide all necessary information. As per Gricean Maxims, the principles of cooperative communication by which our society operates, the speaker is giving as much relevant and honest as needed. And She, asking and interrupting with questions is suggesting that the speaker is not following these maxims.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooperative_principle

Now, as I have recently finished the most popular book among adult (I hope) women in the last decade, A Court of Thorns and Roses, I see some parallels to this interesting phenomena. Middle school plot and descriptions aside, I think the author makes some decisions which make this the smash hit that it is amongst the young ladies. As an avid fantasy reader (99% male author and audience) there are definitely some masculine values and tropes that turn off and confound the ladies. I had a similar experience with book 1 (I plan on finishing the series) with the female thoughts and tropes that conflicted with mine.

For example, every time the main character speaks, immediately she validates her statement with an internal monologue. This A) answers any ‘women-asking’ questions and B) shows that she isn’t lying or concealing anything. Much of the “relationship development” is left entirely to the imagination. This leaves the reader to fill in their months spent together with whatever fantasy scenario and pining that any girl could dream of. Meanwhile I’m waiting to be shown, not told. In the book I am told all of the woman-ask questions and answers without actions necessarily backing up. In fact usually she says and thinks one thing, then does another. And the things she does do, are directly contrary to information she has gotten from others. Very frustrating.

Am I being a capital Sea You N Tea? Yes absolutely. Do I really honestly believe this? No. But funny observations and making fun of smut cult.