The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King – Extended Edition

I had spent the previous few weeks making my way through the works of Tolkein, as well as the extended edition movies, for the first time. Reading the book during my work week and then watching the associated movie(s) during the weekend. There are very few “franchises” (what a disgusting word), for which this works. Dune. Harry Potter for sure. Arguably the Hunger Games. Percy Jackson is on my list coming up. It is fun to see how great books are adapted and it I think it aids in the enjoyment of the reading. You get to make connections and evaluate the choices of the author as opposed to the director. Which helps to formulate your own opinions as you get to see what you imagined or thought compared to what someone else created. A good exercise that we in the age of film are sometimes able to appreciate. Unfortunately, there are far more negative examples than positive. The Wheel of Time Amazon show is an utter disgrace, an example that hit close to home.

I am hesitant to call what I am about to write as a “review”. Because compared to a few of the people who I hope are reading this post at this very moment, are much more qualified to provide an accurate and thoughtful review of LOTR books/movies. We even have a previous post by a fellow Starboy author about some of Tolkien’s work I didn’t even know existed before they wrote a piece about it. However, take this as the useful view point of an outsider looking in.

I have arrived at my overall conclusion on the series: I understand why it is so lauded. To those who claim that LOTR is their absolute favorite, that is a great choice. I respect it as a forefather to the fantasy genre, which I so love. My favorite of the books was by far The Hobbit. I felt like the pacing and sense of adventure was more palatable than in the trilogy. I felt like I was better able to follow along in the adventure, without being stretched between so many characters and locations. I think I struggled with the trilogy because I had to be in a few places at once. Which, in other books I’ve read, isn’t so hard. But, in LOTR, each place and character is so strong and has so much to take in. I think what makes LOTR still a huge presence is that everything is true. Its true. The elves being prissy stuck ups still worthy of respect and admiration, that is true. The dwarves being brave and strong and buttheaded greedy goblins, is true. Wizards having to babysit and losing their temper now and again, true. The locations, and geography, and human politics, all true. There isn’t a false word written. Very impressive. But The Hobbit was just a bit more fun. I get its a kids book, sue me.

As for the movies. The first and last of the Hobbit 3-part movies is good. The middle one spoils the lot though. You don’t make Legolas a cuck and get away it. The casting of the trilogy flicks was incredible. I appreciated the practical effects and makeup whenever it was on the screen. The CGI is goofy as hell though, but I don’t fault it. It was only used when it had to be. I am glad I finally watched the moves from start to finish in their entirety for the first time. And even being 3+ hour extended additions, they never dragged. Well done.

Here’s where I might catch some flack. The movies did a few things better than the books. Helm’s deep was like a paragraph long fight in the book, but it stands out as one of the best battles in movie history. The ending to The Return of the King in the books is laughable. The ending, and fate of Sauraman, is so much better done in the movies. I was literally rolling my eyes and checking page count at the end. Tom Bombadil I can forgive, but not the Scourge of the Shire. I wish Faramir got a better representation but oh well.

I Deleted The Weather App on my Phone

I find myself checking the weather often. To decide when to sleep, when to exercise or hike, what to wear, what to do. I have two problems with this. ONE: I’m letting the weather be an excuse. If I want to go for a hike, I should go, rain or snow or hot sun. I should not let the conditions deter me. TWO: I should know the weather. I have to check an app to know what’s going on outside my window? That doesn’t sit right with me. I should know the weather. It should be something you just know. I should know when its cold or hot by the season and by how it was the days and weeks before. I should know the coming of rain by sight of cloud and feel of air.

I dunno, I just feel like this was a modern convenience that is robbing me of some of the human experience. I encourage you to do the same, or at least think about this. You live everyday under the sun and sky, and yet you do not know it?

Spooky Run

I did see that the sunrise was set an hour away and it was 50ish degrees this morning. I have been getting back into running lately and for some reason only seem to want to go late at night or early in the morning. The sun was far from up this morning and having learned my lesson a week back, did a sundowner on a forested trail without the aid of a headlamp, I tried to be prepared this time.

However, I was not mentally ready. It was the darkest night I had ever seen. Not the moon nor a single star visible above my head. The light of the street lamps seemed to meet the shadow of the night like an ink stain on paper. My breath fogged before me with every breath. As I made my way along the sidewalks to the neighborhood trail, I saw no cars, no early dog walkers, not a sound. There was something so eerie about the morning. With my adrenaline up, I turned into the woods and flicked on my headlamp. The beam of light illuminating my way made the shadows stretch and scowl. Behind every tree lurked an endless abyss, filled by my mind with the worst of creatures. Sasquatch and skin walkers, witches and methed out mental cases, bears and serial killers. Yet, my worst fear of all was still the sky above me. Utterly black through the trees. Every second I expected to peer up and see my doom, the beam of the flying saucer drawing me up. I hate aliens. And all this UAP and Peru stuff has my blood up. It is pitch black at 5 am after all, and although I am within eye shot of houses and backyards, the creep of the night had already set in.

Perhaps I was too in my own head about the wrongness feeling, and caring more about what may have been above me, rather than below me. Because even with the help of my headlamp, I missed an upstuck root and turned my ankle. I managed to stay upright but felt he unmistakable tear and shooting pain of a sprained ligament. I stopped bent over clutching my ankle. It was not a bad injury at all, and after the throbbing subsided I decided to go on, walking at first. But as I stilled, the darkness around me became fixed instead of a passing thing I could outrun. I walked slowly, a chill setting in. My head swiveled left and right and left again. The slowed and pained pace made all of the fear catch up. I was so alone at this time and place.

The rational part of my mind knew that I was more of danger to myself than anything my mind could conjure up. My twisted ankle was proof of that more than anything. But then, somehow, the blackness of the night was darkened to my left. I don’t know how I saw it but I did. And I knew immediately what it was, by the sound. Well, lack of sound. I turned the headlamp up to find an owl bobbing on the branch it just landed on beside me. This was too much the evil omen. (Watch the movie “The Fourth Kind” and you’ll never look at owls the same agian) Pained ankle be damned, I sprung into motion again.

As I escaped the forest and back out onto streets, the black night began to blue. For some reason the sunrise brought out the stars. A fact which still confounds me. I hurried home.

This was supposed to lead into my account of my first ever Oktoberfest at Mt Angel Oregon. But it was getting long and I am getting hungry for lunch writing this. My computer is also being laggy as I type, maybe because I spilt some coffee into the keyboard. Anyway, a companion piece to come.