If you walk into an Applebee’s (for example) get a beer with your chicken tenders, pay the bill, and get in your car to drive home. You’re probably fine. You’ll make it home, safe, no problem, not intoxicated at all. Depending on your metabolism and weight and all that, your blood alcohol limit probably doesn’t even approach the legal limit. But a second beer? I’m not saying you even feel the alcohol whatsoever, but if you pick up the keys and get pulled over as you leave the parking lot, are you 100% the breathalyzer would clear you?

However, this is a generous example. I have personally been along with groups of friends, getting a few drinks to play pool, and when the pool game is up, offering me a ride a home. You still have a beer in your hand that you intend to finish before we leave the bar. We didn’t eat. We didn’t wait a damn second and you’re “good to drive?”. I’ve been at parties, or barbeques, or whatever and my friends will have a few drinks and then leave early for some other arrangement. And when I look at them and ask them “You good?” It’s always yes. Its always “they do this all the time” “I’ve been worse before” “I’m totally good” “I’ll take the back roads” “I’ll drive SOMEWHERE ELSE to sober up”

Fuck you. I doubt you’d hurt anyone or yourself, but if you did. No pity rot in hell. Even if you’re driving fine, lets see whether you’d be sweating your ass through the DUI checkpoint.

You shouldn’t fucking drink THEN drive. EVER. I don’t care if it was just one beer with a burger somewhere. You need to sober totally up before you drive, whether you “feel” it or not.

I’ve been weak. I’ve pushed a little, but ultimately let my friend walk out the door. And I feel bad for it. I wish I would have been stronger. I wish I could formulate a better argument. I get that I might be being a little extreme on this, but seriously. I don’t want someone I care about getting “slapped” with DUI (its not a slap, it should be a permanent removal of your license). It could be as easy as a broke tail light or something stupid that gets you pulled over. Why do you risk that? When you could just wait. Or get an uber. or call me. There is ZERO excuse and I’m tired of it.

Its so casual. Telling a story about how you met with someone for drinks and you went “drink for drink with them” and then drove home minutes later?? What the fuck are you thinking. I get I don’t drink that often but did I miss a memo or something where this behavior is okay?

I do not understand this. If you’re reading this and thinking I’m an asshole or don’t know what I’m talking about. Good. I HAVE NEVER DONE IT. I have never had a beer and then drove without TIMING myself an hour and drinking enough water to fill a camel and eating whatever food I can get my hands on. And if you are one of my more personal friends reading this, and somehow think you have an example of my breaking this word, you’re wrong. I might have had a drink in my hand, but I have either wasn’t drinking it or it was something else. I admit, I am ultra paranoid about it. But you should be too.

Whatever excuses you have for yourself, I hope this helps you see through them. It is never acceptable. I don’t want an accident to occur or anyone to get hurt. Stranger or loved one alike. I also don’t want you getting into law trouble over this, because it could change your whole life. And you’d lose all of my respect as well.

Alcohol is so stupid. Its a drug. A drug. You happen to drink it instead of smoking or shooting it up your nose. And it happens to be sold at walmart instead of dispensary. But its a drug. I’ve lost family to it. I am currently losing people I love to it. Just respect it.